


Lay Us Down (We're in Love)

by EvasiveWarrior (Emilightning)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Human AU, M/M, Suicide, no happy ending, seriously this is some downer shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 17:57:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20119231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilightning/pseuds/EvasiveWarrior
Summary: There was no other option in Roman's mind. To him, the end of Virgil meant the end of all things.





	Lay Us Down (We're in Love)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about this... I'm writing this on my second beer and I'm in the mood to feel terrible.   
Title's from "The End of All Things" by Panic! At The Disco (which incidentally is the song I was listening to when I came up with this awful idea.)
> 
> Trigger warning; please proceed with caution if you're sensitive to suicide/depression/grieving/that sort of thing.

Roman met Virgil in the rain-- or, more accurately, just coming out of the rain.

They had both made it into the library in the nick of time to avoid getting drenched. The automatic doors had barely closed behind them when the downpour began, and they'd exchanged glances and half-smiles, fully expecting to part ways there.

But to both of their surprise, they'd realized they were going to the same section: the neglected little corner in the back of the building where they kept the meager stack of myths, folktales, and faery tales.

_"You're not following me, are you?" Virgil had asked warily, nearly choking on his own nervousness. He didn't seem to be one for talking to strangers._

_Roman had found it absolutely charming. _ _"Not at all. Seems it's just good fortune that we have the same taste in stories." _

What he'd later find out was that they shared much more that that. So much more. 

Now, he imagined his beloved Virgil repeating that question-- the first words he'd ever spoken to him-- in the very same apprehensive tone. Though plenty of people had told him it was impossible, he swore he could feel those gentle eyes watching him now. Dark, soulful eyes, hidden under wisps of plum-colored hair.

Roman looked at himself in the mirror for the first time in the past week... God, had it really only been a week? He felt as if his life had stopped centuries ago; as if he'd been walking around his entire life with only half a heart and one lung sitting in his chest.

The funeral and burial was supposed to be tomorrow. And it probably still would be; deep down, he knew that their friends wouldn't be able to honor the requests he'd so carefully written down. It wasn't practical. But still, it was the sentiment of it that mattered. Soon enough he'd be gone, he'd be with Virgil again, and whatever he left behind was infinitesimal compared to what lay beyond this life. 

He read the note again, as if he hadn't done so a dozen times already that night. It was as ready as it would ever be. There wasn't time to second-guess himself now-- and he wouldn't. When he had promised his lover, over and over and over, that he would follow him anywhere, he'd meant it with all his heart. All his being. Not that he felt he had much of himself left now.

_"Hello?"_

_"Roman... oh god, thank you for picking up..."_

_"Of course, stormcloud-- is everything all right?"_

_Silence for a moment. Then, "No..." _

_Roman gripped his phone tighter, heart pounding, as he heard Virgil groan in pain. "Virgil? What happened? Where are you?"_

_There was a shuffling noise, and then a scream of pain and frustration. "Fuck!"_

_"Virgil?! Tell me where you are!"_

_Several strangled gasps, as Virgil struggled to speak. "I'm s-so sorry- I- god, I don't think..."_

_"I'm coming. I'm on my way." Roman was already halfway to his car, not knowing where his partner was calling from, but knowing he had to get there._

_"It's... I think it's too late, Ro..."_

_"Don't talk like that. Are you stuck somewhere? Are you hurt?" Tears were burning in his eyes; he wiped them away, barely noticing. "Please talk to me!"_

_"I didn't even... I didn't know I could lose this much blood." He made a sound that could have been a laugh or a cough, or both. "I'm sorry, Roman."_

_"Virgil, don't hang up. Do you hear me? Do not hang up. I'll be right there." He'd make it. There was no other option; he had to make it there in time._

_"I... I love you. I love you."_

He had hated him for the briefest of seconds-- for hanging up before he'd gotten the chance to reply. The anger had immediately been replaced with a cold, empty feeling throughout his chest, and Roman had pulled his car over, not caring whether it was a legal maneuver or not. And he'd sat there on the side of the road, refusing to move forwards or backwards. Because he knew that as soon as he did, as soon as he acknowledged what was happening-- what had already happened-- his world would come crashing in around him.

Now he didn't feel anything. There was nothing left for him here. The curtains were drawn and the house was silent except for the steady rhythm of rain on the roof.

Roman laughed humorlessly and hollowly to himself. "Of course," he said out loud. "Of course, when we meet again, it'll be raining." 

Whatever. It was fine with him; if anything, this was a sign to do it now. Summer storms were fleeting, after all. Appearing out of nowhere, then gone before you could even appreciate how beautiful the lightning made the clouds look.

He picked up the bottle of painkillers, opened the top, and brought the first handful to his lips. Then he picked up Virgil's phone-- in some cruel twist of irony, it had survived the crash-- and scrolled through it until he found the playlist titled 'for Roman'. 

The haunting strains of piano began. 

"_Whether near or far_

_I am always yours_..."

He sang along as best he could with his voice worn out from days of crying.

After both he and the song had repeated some number of times, he was lying on the cold floor, unable to stand anymore. Barely even able to think. It wouldn't be long now. 

"I'm following you," he half-whispered, uncertain if he was really seeing Virgil reaching towards him or if it was just a hallucination. Either way, it certainly looked like him, and that was enough. "Let's go. Take me with you."

\--------------------

_To whoever finds this--_

_I'm truly sorry it had to come to this. This is never what I would have wanted for either of us, but you must understand, I can't go on without him. _

_And if Logan is reading this, I know you're angry, but please try to understand. As much as I hate to pose the question, how would you go on without Patton?_

_Where Virgil sleeps, I sleep. Where he lies, lay me down. That's all I ask._

_Thank you. Please don't blame yourself._

_All my love,_

_Roman_

**Author's Note:**

> Again, i'm sorry. This isn't even good; I wrote it all in one go and I just wanted pure unfiltered sad and it's a mess. Bone apple titty.


End file.
